The Slience
by YesILikeEridan
Summary: Francis is sick of it. Sick of The Silence, the entity that seems to hover above him and prey on him in his own home. He's sick of pretending that everything's alright. He knows he can't carry on like this, and so he devises a plot to end it all.


I guess I should be used to it by now.

I go through the same routine every day. I get up, get dressed and plaster a smile on my face. I go to work and flirt during meetings. Put on a frivolous face and play pretend.

Pretend that I'm alright.

Pretend that the loneliness doesn't tear me to pieces.

Pretend that The Silence doesn't rip my heart apart.

But the reality is that I'm not alright, and I can't continue to live like this. My house is littered with empty wine bottles. My arms are littered with scars. Tears cloud my vision too often and I have grown tired of crying.

So today is the day that I have decided to put an end to my self destruction. To hell with my reputation. I don't care about the not so muffled whispers that will surely circulate about me. I won't be able to hear them anyway. Nothing will matter after today.

I grab some paper and a pen. My hands are shaking, but I still manage to write down everything. Every little thing that has happened, every feeling I've felt is captured on the creamy white page. All of my confessions. All of my unsaid words.

Even as I'm writing about it, The Silence burns through me. It doesn't matter though, and I don't try to fight it. The Silence won't be a problem after today.

I can feel the familiar stinging in my eyes as I fold the letter into an envelope. It's quite a pretty one- white with little gold designs around the edges.

I let my tears fall and they turn the delicate covering in my hand translucent.

I slip on some shoes and a jacket. It's raining so I shelter the letter in my pocket. I want them to be able to read it.

I don't pull my hood up. I've always enjoyed the rain. The pitter-patter of the drops hitting the ground and the refreshing coolness they bring is much more pleasant than the silent heat of the sun or the blank whiteness of snow.

I would love to let my feet lead me and wander around in the rain, going wherever they take me, but I have somewhere I need to be.

I let myself tilt my head back for a moment. The rain runs down my face and gathers in my stubble. I raise my hand the feel my unshaven chin. It tickles slightly and I am suddenly launched into the memories of all the times I would give Matthew a goodnight kiss and he would giggle and squish his cheek into my little beard.

I smile a bit at that.

The memories don't deter me, however. They only make me more determined to reach my destination and completely dispel The Silence that I know is longingly awaiting my return home.

A gust of wind blows my blond hair into my face. It has lost its shine and knots tangle it around itself. I fish around in my pocket for a hair tie and gather my hair into a crude ponytail.

I put my head down and walk with a new sense of purpose. I pass people hurrying down the streets; some are huddled under umbrellas while some are content with the shelter of a coat. Some are foolish enough to venture outside unprotected. These people walk the fastest, almost running to escape the downpour.

I continue on my way, down alleys, around bends and across roads until I eventually round the final corner and see the massive river roaring steadily behind iron railings just a couple of meters away. I stroll up and grasp the railings.

The river is wild. I can see currents pulling random bits of debris every which way. No one is mad enough to venture out on the raging water and all of the sensible folk are inside away from the rain.

In essence, I am alone.

I close my eyes and take a minute to simply _breathe_.

I can smell the smoke that's puffing out of the chimneys of the surrounding houses. I can feel the droplets of water on my face; both from the rain and spray from the unorderly river. I can feel the slick iron bars between my fingers. I can feel the slight breeze ruffling through my jacket. I put my hand in my pocket. I can feel the smooth envelope and the silk pocket lining.

I open my eyes and examine the river for a while longer.

Eventually I let go of the bars and move on. I am still not where I need to be. Today is the day, remember? I am going to break through The Silence. Standing around is not going to help me do that.

I walk down the riverside; my hands are trailing against the safety rail making a slight clanging noise.

I stop in front of a large, formal looking building. I walk right in; I know the door is open. I know my way around well and have no trouble finding my way through the winding corridors.

I slow down as I come up to the door I need. I place my hand on the brass door handle. I notice that it's shaking a bit. I steel myself and push the door open.

"Francis? What the hell are you doing here- are you alright?" Arthur looks concerned.

I shake my head. I don't trust myself to speak. Instead I take the letter out of my pocket and hand it to him. The others crowd around and try to read what I had written. All of them except Matthew.

He taps me on the shoulder and I turn around. He has a sad smile on his face. He leans in and hugs me, going up on his tippy-toes and winding his arms around my neck. I bury my face into his hair and savour the scent.

"I'm proud of you," he whispers in my ear.

Matthew had been begging me to get help for- well, for ages. He helped me as much as he could on his own, but he couldn't be with me 24/7. It just wasn't possible. He had seen what The Silence was doing to me. And he helped me, planning with me about how to go about everything and rid myself of the depression that was seeping through my skin and making my bones ache.

As the other nations read what is on that slip of paper I feel a weight lift off of my shoulders. I feel free, and relieved and happy all at the same time.

"I love you Francis" Matthew's melodic voice wafts into my hearing.

Let me correct myself; I feel free, relieved, happy and _loved. _

**_A/N_**** I haven't written anything for Hetalia in a while and I was feeling a bit down in the dumps the other day so this came out. It was really just to tell myself that people will always be willing to help if you are willing to ask for it and that things do get better. I've heard that from so many people but hearing it from myself actually motivates me to get on with life.**

**Anyway, I hope you guys like this, though it is quite rushed. I might re-write it and beef it up a little at some stage.**

**I do not own Hetalia in any shape or form.**

**Please feel welcome to review. They make me tremendously happy :) **


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